Breaking through the next plateau.

Our fitness journey’s often go a little something like this. At first, progress is easy. We start an exercise regime, and nearly every week it seems like we’re lifting a bit more or running a tad faster. As we move from beginner to regular, progress slows a bit, but the antidote is easy. We start working a little harder. We move from a couple days a week of training to nearly every day. We get a coach or follow a program. Those personal records keep showing up.

As we move from dabbling to training, something interesting occurs. We transition from I like to run to I am a runner. Our training increases, our motivation skyrockets, and our performance often goes with it. We start to do the little things, seeing it as a part of not only our daily routine, but who we are. Caring deeply is often the secret to improvement.

But inevitably, we stagnate. Our performance plateaus. The feeling we get in testing your max slowly shifts from excitement to a tinge of anxiety. We start worrying about whether we’ll make the next bar. And feel devastated afterwards when we fall short. What once was a fun exploration of our limits, becomes a sometimes dread inducing state, where we are left wondering what will go wrong this time. Welcome to the downside of caring. In my new book Win the Inside Game, I explored how to get people unstuck, to free them up to perform to their potential.

We often respond by doubling down. We try harder, but are met with a resistance that pushes back. In transitioning from I like to powerlift to I am a powerlifter, an interesting thing occurs. Whether we lift the weight or not is now a reflection of us. Research shows that we’re more likely to underperform when it’s our sense of self on the line. Meaning, when we care deeply about an activity or sport, it becomes a part of us. And if we fall short, it’s not just that we failed at a task, it’s that we are a failure. That’s why individuals with higher levels of athletic identity and those who are more self-conscious tend to be more susceptible to choking in the big game. We care deeply, but that caring can cause our brain to default towards self-protection mode.

It’s what former major league baseball player Rick Ankiel faced when on the biggest stage, his body suddenly forgot how to throw a baseball with any semblance of accuracy.  He later reported, “I made the mistake of thinking, being good at baseball is what made me who I was. When that glass is shattered, there was nothing left. Going from baseball’s prodigy and poster boy. All of the sudden you are blindsided. You’re the most vulnerable you’ve ever been, and everybody can see right through you.” While he may not have been talking about sport, poet T. S. Eliot might as well have been giving us the secret to performing at the highest level, “Teach us to care and not care.”

In my new book Win the Inside Game, I found that at the heart of underperformance in sport was whether or not our brain defaulted to threat or challenge mode. When we feel threatened, our brain pushes us towards avoidance and self-protection. When we feel up to the challenge, there may be a tinge of anxiety, but we are more likely to approach the task with curiosity and fortitude. One of the keys is to make sure the right you is showing up.

Put on Your Game Face

Baseball superstar Aaron Judge transforms into someone else on game day. As he told writer Sam Borden, “I’m in here right now, and I’m Aaron—I’m hanging out with you, right? But you know, when I step out there, you have to be somebody else. Because maybe Aaron, in this moment, might be scared. But No. 99? He isn’t afraid at all.” He’s putting space between his everyday self and his performing self. It’s a way to ensure he doesn’t take the full brunt of the pressure of performing in front of thousands of fans.

Judge isn’t alone in this. Kobe Bryant had the Black Mamba persona, and Diego Maradona distinguished between his two names. As Maradona’s fitness coach, Fernando Signirini, relayed, “I learnt that there was Diego and there was Maradona. Diego was a kid who had insecurities, a lovely boy. Maradona was the character he came up with to face the demands of the football business and media.”[ii] Sports psychologist Dan Abrahams calls this putting on a game face.

Whether we know it or not, we all have different roles or personas. We dress up, acting professionally and formally when meeting with a distinguished business client, and then drop the charade when we relax with our coworkers at the bar after the meeting. We pick it back up the following day at church, where we wouldn’t dare utter choice words, but then invoke those same phrases when our football team loses the game a few hours later. Our environment tells us which hat to wear and what role to occupy. It shapes whether we’re aggressive or passive, excited or nervous. Adopting a game face that reflects what characteristics you want to bring to gym or track might seem silly, but it’s a proven way to elevate your game by creating just enough space between the everyday you and the competitor you.

Craft Your Environment to Invite Action

We’ve all heard of the home field advantage, where athletes perform better in front of a friendly crowd. While the contributors are varied, one key is that performing at home turns down our threat alarm. When we feel at home, it shifts our perception of what we’re capable of. As I describe in Win the Inside Game, researchers out of the University of Virginia put women through a painful shock while lying in a brain scanner. When a shock was imminent, the brain lit up in distress. But when the women were allowed to hold the hand of their significant other, the fear and stress were attenuated. The longer and more supportive their relationship, the bigger the effect. The researchers concluded that attachment acts as a safety signal.

Social Baseline Theory posits that we outsource much of our emotional regulation to others as a way to minimize risk and conserve energy. We share the load. Instead of feeling the full burden of taking on a challenge or figuring out how to get through a verbal beratement, our brain counts on others to help us cope. It has for a long time. change, shifting our perceptions of what we can handle.

With someone else there, the daunting seems manageable. For instance, when standing at the bottom of a steep hill, participants in a study at the University of Virginia judged the hill to be, on average, 7 degrees shallower when they had a friend by their side.The same effect was found when subjects had to lift heavy boxes. Having a friend nearby led participants to perceive the boxes as lighter. Other research has found that forgiving others leads to judging hills as shallower, and being able to jump higher, while holding on to a grudge, made the hill seem steeper. Relieving the social burden frees us up.

It’s not just having support nearby. Research finds that decorating an office increases well-being and productivity. While pictures of our loved ones on our desk makes us more ethical at the office. Objects invite action. They act as a communication system to our brain. The objects in our space are like a cheat code for the brain, allowing us to get to a behavior much quicker and smoother. It’s why the mere act of putting your jersey on to compete, or having a special pair of shoes that are reserved for race day can actually make a small but subtle difference. They nudge our brain towards being a competitor, instead of the mild mannered person in the workplace. 

We’ve long known this in the world of exercise. Think of the role of a good spotter. They are there, paying attention and maybe even encouraging you. But their hand is not on the bar. You are the one lifting the weight, doing the work, and navigating the pain. The spotter won’t grab the bar to help you reach your goal. They only step in if things really go sideways. Yet, research shows when we have a spotter present, not doing anything but standing there, we can lift more. In one study, participants completed on average four and a half more reps in the bench press when there was a spotter nearby.It’s as if our brain goes, “Hey, we can take a bit more risk, and venture into the depths of fatigue because if we fail, we aren’t going to drop a weight on our chest and crush us.”

Whether it’s our alter ego, our friend supporting, or the objects nearby, they all signal how to show up. They change our perception not only of the environment but of ourselves. Whether on the athletic field or in our office, objects remind you who you are and why you’re doing it. We can invite the role of lifter or runner, to take a calculated risk. Or we can invite roles that make us feel defensive and under threat. We can use this to turn us into a fierce competitor or someone with road rage who lost their mind. Rig your environment wisely.


This post is excerpted from my new book Win the Inside Game.

It’s my most personal book yet, trying to use my experience (and lots of research) to show that there’s a better way to strive for our potential. It’s all about mastering the inner game. Order today and get all sorts of bonuses, including a free e-book on coaching, a masterclass on mental performance, and more.

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